"10 more minutes"

Do you remember when you were little, playing with your best friend outside in the summer? Then, your mom would call from the door, "10 more minutes." You knew that the most fantastic time you were having, playing with your friend, was about to come to an end. So, if you were like me, you played REALLY hard, so you got the very most out of those last few minutes. Remember that?

Well, I'm afraid I'm down to the last '10 minutes' of my time off from work. We've been home 12 weeks this Friday; my time is about up- next Tuesday is my first day back in the office. Many people tell me that your maternity leave 'flies by'. I'm not sure it's felt that way for me. In fact, in some ways, it seems like I've been off for a really long time. It was winter when I last went to work! In the past 3 months, I've done a lot of hard work, cried lots of tears, prayed for sleep and wondered what in the world I had done. I've also laughed a ton, accomplished more in a day than I ever thought possible, loved more than the past 36 years put together, and started to figure out and get to know another person (who, by the way, didn't come with instructions!) So much has changed since that last work day:

• Laundry- Before Anna (BA), I did one, maybe two loads a week; now, I do at least 5
• Pajamas- BA, I could stay in my pajamas for the day, just cause I felt like it; now, if I'm in my pajamas till noon, it's cause I didn't have time to change
• Making the Bed- BA, I would make my bed to, yes, this is embarrassing, keep the dust out; now, I leave the bed unmade in hopes I'll have 30 minutes to jump back in it
• Showers- BA, I loved long hot showers; now, yeah, right!
• Sleep- BA, I required a LOT of sleep; now- sleep, what's that?

Anna has changed a TON, too! I brought home a tiny, fragile, sick little girl. She looked so scared. I fed her 3 ounces of formula every 3 hours, round the clock. She would cry for no reason. She could barely hold her head up, hated lying on her side (I don't think she had ever been on her side before) and couldn't lift or even hold onto a toy. Here's what Anna's accomplished in the last 12 weeks:

• Feeding- she now takes four 8 ounce bottles a day and is working on eating finger foods
• Weight- my little rollie pollie had gained almost 4 pounds! and I love every roll and crease
• Health- I'm thrilled that she has not been sick one day since she has been home
• Strength- since her PT momma has been working her out every day (poor girl didn't know what she stumbled into!), little Anna now holds her head up without any problem; she rolls over and loves playing on her tummy; she can take full weight through her legs; she holds her bottle; she loves to play with her toys and is getting closer to sitting by herself
• Sleep- oh, the saga of Anna's sleep! finally, in the past month, she is sleeping through the night! last night, she did without her midnight bottle and did fine! now, when she wakes up, she puts herself back to sleep with minimal crying (she was screaming for 80, yes 8-0, minutes)! her mom is beyond THRILLED!!!
• Social Skills- well, have you met her? Anna's a blast! she loves to talk and blow raspberries; she goes to strangers with appropriate caution, always checking to be sure momma's near by; she rarely fusses unless there's a typical baby problem; she's really a great baby

So, I think, all in all, we've done well! It's not all been roses and butterflies, but as a whole, it's been great.

What's next? Well, in 5 days, I go back to work. I've got very mixed feelings- part of me is looking forward to doing grown up things again; to talking to adults with greater regularity; to talking about something other than just Anna. And part of me is really sad and anxious- sad that this phase is ending, sad I won't get to see her all day, sad for all the 'firsts' I'll miss. I'm anxious about the transition and the unknowns- will everything work out; can I manage working and being a mom; will Anna forget me.

I am so thankful that there is some amount of room for us both to 'transition' a little more gently than most. I'll be working only 4 days a week for now- so on Wednesday, I can hang with my gal. Additionally, Anna will be in the same building as me for at least the first month. She will be getting Physical, Occupational, and Speech therapies 3 days per week at the clinic where I work. She'll go to work with me and leave with me and be in great hands in the middle; and, I can pop down the hall to see her as I have time. I'm so grateful for this opportunity for both of us :)

I'm looking forward to the next few days, trying to enjoy every minute! If I've only got '10 minutes left to play,' you better believe, we're going to play hard!!